I haven't been online for a while as one could see. I haven't been able to blog, to go online at ym much, nor play pRO. From being busy still because of school related stuff, to spending time with my cousins, to this current challenge. Hmm.. I guess I could say that.. life this past few weeks has been one hell of a ride. From being happy, then worried, to relieved, and then to uber worried, gloomy, and freakishly annoyed. -_-

A few days after coming back from Hongkong I was still feeling the after effects of all the fun we had there.. but an accident dashed my seemingly happy feeling and well, everything started from there. Well, it all involves my grandmother. I've always seen her as someone uber strong. She's 81 yet she's still very energetic.. too energetic I think.. and because of that I guess somehow all the energy spent and used has taken its toll on her body. We had to confine her a week back because she fainted and hit her head.. she was observed for around four days and was sent home with us. Then last friday, she suddenly said she had a hard time breathing, and she was turning quite pale, so we brought her to the hospital, while in the ER she said she was okay. -_- So we decided to go home and just took a detour to buy her medicine, but while we were buying she suddenly fainted in the car and we had to bring her back to the hospital again. She's been confined since then. Last friday was my Baccaulareate Mass.. Tomorrow's my graduation.. I should be happy, and excited.. and the people around me should be to.. but we aren't because of the current circumstances. *sighs* Anyway.. I think I'm ranting again. I have so much to tell. So many things I'm worrying about. From my grandmother, to my mom, and to all of us who are all worried sick. I hope mom doesn't get too stressed out. *sigh* I guess I feel sad too, since it isn't everyday you get to graduate, and I just can't feel it now. The moment. The feeling. Ugh. *toinks self* I am so.. uhh.. I dunno.. so mixed up. Everything's all jumbled and chaotic.

Anyway.. enough about that. I'll be leaving in a while to visit grandma at the hospital. Sorry for ranting. My blog is my only outlet. Aside from telling it to my mom, dad, brother, and my two cousins. *hugs them all* I love you all so much. :/
-----
I lose my way without you.. I don't know where my heart is.. --snippets from the lyrics of Tommy's (Tomoko Kawase, Tommy heavenly6) song, Hey my friend.

Currently Listening: Hey my friend

Just got back minna-san. ^^

It's been tiring yet I had a great time. ^_^ It didn't hurt that the tour guide was also cute. Lol. XD Anyway.. Hmm.. It's been the third time I've been to Hong Kong, while it was my brother's first time. First two times I've been there I was in gradeschool.. grade 2 and grade 5. XD I guess I haven't really appreciated the trips before since I was just a kid back then. Lololol. XD

I had a great time there, and I really was amazed at how organized and how advanced Hong Kong was. I couldn't help but compare. :/ I mean, I love the Philippines, but.. Hong Kong was just so out of our league. Lololol. The street signs were all clear and can be easily found, you wouldn't get lost there. The traffic signs were everywhere and were really being followed. There were no traffic there, sometimes it might seem like the flow was slowing down, but it only slows down for a while. The express way there was really express. Rofl. There were only two modes of public transportation there, either take a taxi or a bus. I almost forgot, there is also the MTR which I think most of the people use since the fare of the MTR is only around 5 to 20 hong kong dollars. I guess the reason they don't have traffic jams in Hong Kong is because the drivers there are well disciplined. They follow the street/traffic rules, and I guess because of the fact that they don't have jeepneys there makes their streets more traffic free and less saturated with public transportation vehicles. There were so many shops there.. and so many different kinds of people. Everything will seem to get your attention. Rofl. XD They also have.. tiangge or side walk vendors.. but their vendors aren't the same as ours because the side walk vendors there don't have their shops set up at the streets or sidewalks.. they have it in alleys.. which is way nicer since it prevents any form of inconvenience for vehicles or for people walking at the sidewalk. I didn't really buy a lot of things, but I did buy shirts, a cute black bag, key chain, hair trinkets, and other stuff.

Of course we wouldn't let the opportunity go to waste.. we were already in Hong Kong.. so it wouldn't be right if we didn't go to Disneyland. ^_^ The taxi fare to Disneyland was around 200 to 250 Hong Kong dollars. Lol. so 500 Hong Kong dollars just for the taxi fare to and from Disneyland. Ahaha. XD I had a lot of fun there. The rides were nice. Everything was so well organized. There were a lot of people in Disneyland but you wouldn't stand in line for more than 15 minutes. Your time wouldn't be eaten up by the long lines or the long wait. I really love the ride called Space Mountain. It was really nice and it really seemed that you were sort of in space. XD There was also this cute interactive ride wherein you get to blast the monsters. Woo. I had a higher score than Chris. XD Ahaha. We weren't able to stay long though since grandma was tired and I guess mom and dad too. XD Even though we weren't able to spend the whole day at Disneyland, it was a blast being able to go there. ^^

I haven't been able to mention that since our last day of school I wanted to post, but wasn't able to.. been busy in fixing school related stuff, then I just always tend to forget to post.. till the day we left and now. XD Hmm.. I have so much to tell, yet I'm feeling pretty lazy at the moment. Lol. XD

I guess that's all for now. I'm missing the hotel room and the aircon already. :/ Lololol. Haven't gotten the pics from my dad's camera, and the pics from my mom's camera, and the pics from me and my brother's camera. Lol. Yeah. We brought 3 cameras. Ahaha. XD Talk about being a camera whore. Rofl. XD Anyway, I'll be stopping at that for now. Still have to fix my stuff. ^^ Once again, Tadaima minna-san~ :3 *hugs* I've missed you all. *hugs hugs* I'm still a bit tired. So I'll be resting now. Ja ne~ :3

Currently Listening: I'm gonna SCREAM

I'll be gone for a while. Around 3 to 4 days. Rofl. XD Me and my family are finally going on a vacation, a short one, but still a vacation nonetheless. ^^ We're going to Hong Kong, since it's pretty near, takes about 1 hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours travel time only. XD Also because of Disneyland Hong Kong of course. Lolololol. XD
We'll be leaving at around 3 or 4 a.m. tomorrow because they want to arrive early at the airport, to be the first ones in line since there are a lot of people who also have flights during the morning and I think it pretty much takes quite a bit of time before you're cleared and allowed to go wait for your flight inside. I'll be sleeping early today. ^^ So there. Good night guys. See you in a few days. :3 Ja~ ^^

Currently Listening: Hey my friend

Hero's Come Back ish my uber LSS at the moment~ *heart* XD

I am so excited yet nervous.. lol. Bangag ako ohmaygad. Interview tomorrow. Ugh. Early morning. Rofl. Good luck to me~ :3 The interview will probably be a big factor whether I get accepted or not. Good luck talaga sakin. Lololol. XD

Must sleep. Had a long day. Lol. School school school Zzzzz. X3

Ugh. I'm currently feeling all nervous.. Roflmao. XD *toinks self* Gah. So restless. Haha. Wish me luck minna-san. ^^ Oyasumi nasai. *hugs* Ja~ I'm off to rest.. must rest.. must feel refreshed tomorrow. Lol. XD

Currently Listening: Hero's Come Back

Happy Valentines Day minna-san~ ^^

Had a pretty busy day at school. When I got home, rested for a bit, then mom and dad, took me and my brother out to eat and buy some things. The mall was pretty much packed with people. Lol. Ugh. So tired. I've pretty much been out of the house the whole day. Lol. XD

I want to have all of Tommy's songs. T___T So addictive. *heart* I love her songs so much right now. Uber lss. Ahaha. I am soooo addicted at the moment. XD Gimme please. T___T Anyone kind enough to point me to a site or something? :3 I'm not that familiar with torrents, by the way. Rofl. XD Laggy net keeps me from even trying to download torrents. Lol. It's bad enough that both my dad and my brother download at the same time, if I even dare add to that.. lol.. goodluck? It'll probably take my download days to finish. Roflmao. XD Ugh. I want Tommy february6 or heavenly6 songs~ *cute puppy eyes* :3

So sleepy. T___T I'd better go before I doze off in front of my computer. Lol. Early class tomorrow, 7:30 a.m. *dies* Lol. XD *hugs everyone* Hope your day/valentines day was pretty nice minna-san. ^^ Oyasumi nasai~ :P Ja ne~ :3

Currently Listening: Tommy february6 - Lonely in Gorgeous

After a long while, I'm back minna. *huggleglomps* ^^

Hmm.. It's been more than a month since my last post. XD It's been too long.. ne? :/ Anyway, I have some time to post right now, so there. :P

Been busy.. with school stuff of course.. papers, research, assignments, and the ghastly thesis.. lol.. between this and that.. I'm glad I'm still alive. XD Lol. XD~ As always.. school equals heaps of work to do. XD Ranting? Not really. :P Just explaining why I haven't been able to post since January 5. ^^ Tsaka.. yung free time na meron ako.. minsan pinang-si-siege ko nalang o ipinangtutulog. Napapansin ko nga.. napapa-aga na tulog ko. Haha. As in wala pang 12 midnight tulog na ko. Sobrang pagod o stress siguro tsaka medyo kulang rin kasi sa tulog. Last week nga totally wala akong naging free time para mag-siege o kung ano mang gusto kong gawing ibang bagay. Lol. XD Pag napapahiga nga ako.. para rest lang sana.. nakakatulog ako agad. Haha. XD

It's February already. :/ How time flies. The thing I'm dreading.. is getting closer and closer at hand. Gah. I'm scared.. and sad. *sighs* Need I repeat why? Haha. Refer to previous posts? :P Lol. XD Seriously, I can't stop thinking about this. *sighs* I'm really scared. Scared of this new thing.. new step.. new part.. and what makes it worse is I'm going to miss everything.. from my family to the things I've grown accustomed to.. to my friends, irl and ol.. everything. every. little. thing. i'm. so. attached. to. T___T

On a lighter note, I am so ADDICTED to Tommy's songs right now. Haha. Pray~ Lost my pieces~ Lonely in Gorgeous~ XD Sobrang nakaka-lss, mapa Tommy february6 songs or her alter ego na Tommy heavenly6 haha. XD At syempre di kumpleto post ko kung walang konting lyrics nung kanta haha. Syempre lss, kaya ayan ilalagay ko sa baba nito yung gusto kong part nung kanta. ^^

[lss]
Lost my pieces - Tommy heavenly6
I Lost my pieces
Falling into Star dust
ame mitai ni
chirabatteku

Why are they leaving me?
subete ga uragiru no
I thought that's forever...
nanimokamo kiete sou subete

I had a dream so... in my dream
Under the star light, baby...
I'll say goodbye to you... ok?
everything is just a dream
so... When I wake up
I loose you from my head
...oh yeah
[/lss]

Onga pala, malapit na Valentines Day. Ahaha. Well, Happy Valentines nalang sa inyong lahat. ^_^ Sa mga may couples, and sa mga single tulad ko. :P May pasok ako sa Valentines Day haha so parang any ordinary day lang siya. Except kung lalabas kami nang family ko. Haha. Kung hindi. Well. Wala lang. XD Anyway, I'll try to greet you guys on the day itself. ^^ Try. :P

Hmm.. that'd be all I guess.. I have to go already. XD Still have to wake up early.. 7:30 a.m. class. Zzzz. XD Good night minna~ :P Oyasumi nasai~ ^^ Ja~ :3

Currently Listening: Lost my pieces

[lss]
In this Craziness, Uncertainty
hitori hitori no omoi wo bokura wa dokoka ni nokoseru darou ka
In this Craziness, You gave me life
hitotsu no omoi wo bokura wa doko made mamoreru darou ka

In this Craziness, Uncertainty
hitori hitori no katachi wo bokura wa dokoka ni nokoseru darou ka
In this Craziness, You gave me life
sorezore no katachi wo bokura wa doko made mamoreru darou ka

In this Craziness, Uncertainty hitori hitori no akogare
In this Craziness, You gave me life hitotsu no kagayaki
In this Craziness, Uncertainty hitori hitori no tokimeki
In this Craziness, You gave me life hitotsu no kandou
In this Craziness, Uncertainty hitori hitori no manazashi
In this Craziness, You gave me life hitotsu no guuzen
In this Craziness, Uncertainty hitori hitori no nukumori
In this Craziness, You gave me life hitotsu no yakusoku
[/lss]

I still haven't found an english translation of that.. and that wasn't the lyrics of the whole song. XD Anyway, I've liked that song so much since I've first heard it.. I wish I knew what it really means. It would be a lot of work if I'd try to translate word for word. XD

Well.. on to my post. :p

Hmm.. as of today, I'm 21. Lol. Yesh. Ish my birthday. ^^

Though it might seem like just any ordinary day, since I just spent my birthday at home with my family, well I was happy since of course mom and dad greeted me a lot LOL. My aunts and uncles and grandparents greeted me too. ^^ My friends didn't forget to greet me.. well.. not all though. T___T There were still a lot who forgot. :/ Well, maybe they were just busy or something. XD Anyway, LOL. Things now might be different from how I used to celebrate my birthday.. well.. of course when i was a little kid birthdays were always celebrated by throwing a party and stuff. Gifts etc. Lol. As you grow old, things change, and how you celebrate your birthday of course changes as well. Lol. What was my point again? LOL. XD I think what I was saying that, even if it is just a day at home or with some friends, the most important part of having a birthday is of course the greetings you receive from the people close to you (syempre it shows na naaalala ka nila.. hindi ba? :p) and well celebrating/spending it with your family, or with the people you like/love/care for/hold dear to your heart. ^^ The thought that your family, relatives, friends, and the other people close to you remembers that one special day in your life, it's heartwarming, ne? Ish a gift in itself. ^^ Lol. Parang ang drama. XD Haha. XD What made me happier was that even my guildmates at Coalescence greeted me. ^___^ Again, thank you everyone. *hugs* ^^

Tomorrow, all the slack I've been given will be gone. Lol. Meaning.. hindi ko na special day bukas so lagot na ko LOL.. but at least.. I still have my precious memories with me. *hugs tight* ^^

If only life was only about happiness and stuff, ne? XD If only. Haha. Sadly it isn't. I don't think I'm strong like most of you are.. but I really wish I can be.. to be able to face head on and survive everything and anything that might come my way. :/ Anyway, parang papunta na naman sa drama mode 'tong sinusulat ko so.. tigil ko na. Haha. XD

3 months.. *sigh* I'm scared and sad.. I've been in only 3 schools since I started studying. One when I was in kinder till prep. Second was in Grade 1, studied in that school since grade 1 till fourth year high school lol. Third is my current school now, college, first year to fourth year. LOL. After this school year.. I'll be now entering my fourth school.. it would be a new environment yet again. New people. New surroundings. New things to face. New home since I'll probably be staying in a dorm since hindi ko kakayanin mag-uwian from there. Lol. Wish me luck. Ugh. I think I might be needing lots of it. T___T Things I use, things I love, things I take for granted when I'm at home.. I'll be missing each and every single stuff I have at home.. not to mention how I'll probably be home sick since I've never really experienced living far away from my parents and my brother. Omg. I'll really going to miss mom, dad, and my brother. T___T Sanay pa naman akong laging nandyan sila, lol. Hay. Halos 3 months pa pero nagkakaganito na ko. Ahaha. *whacks self* As I've said in my last post.. "I'm going to miss all of this. My little corner in the sala upstairs. Mom and Dad's room where I also sleep because it has aircon LOL. My computer. Our sucky DSL connection. My dad and brother's downloads that keep on making me lag. Ate Len. My online friends. Ragnarok Online. My guildmates. My characters. My equips. Yahoo Messenger. Him T___T. Well everything that I've grown accustomed to. T___T" :/ I don't know why, but I find myself thinking about this and him.. a lot.. *sigh* :/ I think he's also planning to leave and go abroad. T__T *sigh* Gah. I even confuse myself. Lol. Ang labo ko haha. Seriously, I don't know.. or maybe I just don't understand.. or maybe I do but I don't? Lol. Gusto kong malaman pero pano and kung malaman ko kung ano nga.. ano naman gagawin ko? Parang ganyan naiisip ko. Haha. Labo noh. XD Ahaha. *whacks sucky sucky self*

Anyway.. too much thoughts rambling in my head. XD I'm off to rest. :3 Thank you for greeting me. ^___^ Good night minna. *hugs* Ja~ ^^

Currently Watching: Jigoku Shoujo
Currently Listening: Sakasama no Chou

[lss]
Jimmy Eat World - Just Watch The Fireworks

Here you can be anything.
And I think that scares you.
I think that scares you.
Here I've been here before but only by myself. Myself.

I promised I'd see it again.
I promised I'd see this with you now. (2x)

What giving up gives you and where giving up takes you.
I've had and I've been.

Here in center frame, here, there's only air, and, just enough space to fit.

I promised I'd see it again.
I promised I'd see this with you now. (2x)

I said said said it out loud over and over.
I said said said it out loud but what do I know.
I said said said it out loud over and over.
I said said said it out loud over and over.
I said said said it out loud but it did not help.
I'll stop now.
Just so I can hear you I stay up as late as it takes.

I promised I'd see it again.
I promised I'd see this with you now. (2x)

I said said said it out loud over and over.
I said said said it out loud but it did not help.
I'll stop now.
Just so I can hear you I stay up as late as it takes, stay up as long as it takes.
Stay up as long as it takes.
Stay up as long as it takes.
As long as it takes.
As long as it takes.
I stay up as late as it takes, stay up as long as it takes.
[/lss]

Hmm.. not really my uber lss at the moment, but I like the title and it fits the occasion. :3 With that said, on to my greetings. ^^

First of all, Happy Birthday to my mom. ^_^ Thank you for all the patience, concern, time, understanding, and love you've given me. ^^ I love you so much mama. *hugs* :3

Secondly? Lol. Well, I would just like to greet all of you a Happy New Year. Happy nga ba? LOL. XD May our lives be better and be more memorable this new year. I for one would want a, well, nicer year. Rofl. XD Ugh. Am I still making any sense? Lol. XD Haha. Basta. Happy New Year sa inyong lahat and sana maganda ang panibagong taon para sa ating lahat. ^_^

This Christmas Break has been hectic for me. Lol. Not that I'm not enjoying it. Its just that I've been out of the house or pretty much busy with something this whole break. From getting stuff ready for Calatagan before, then the actual trip going there, to collecting specimens, getting wounded, scared of the uber many clumps and clumps of black sea urchins, hanging out with my 2 kuyas (cousins), watching movies with them, going to the arcade, buying dvds, and well lots of other stuff. XD

Tomorrow, I will again be out of the house. Well, all of us. Me, my brother, mom, and dad. We'll be going to Laguna. To visit my grandparents' and our aunts and uncles. :P We might go to a mall as well. That would be nice. I still have to buy mommy a gift. It'll probably be something she could use or wear. Para practical I guess and para may silbi. ^^ I missed Festival Mall, but I think we'll be going to Alabang Town Center instead tomorrow. :P Well, any would do. ^^

I'm going to miss all of this. My little corner in the sala upstairs. Mom and Dad's room where I also sleep because it has aircon LOL. My computer. Our sucky DSL connection. My dad and brother's downloads that keep on making me lag. Ate Len. My online friends. Ragnarok Online. My guildmates. My characters. My equips. Yahoo Messenger. Him T___T. Well everything that I've grown accustomed to. T___T That day of somehow being far from all of that is pretty much close at hand. :/ In about 3 months or so. T___T Well, It'll probably take me a while, or a really really long while before I'll be able to accept that next school year, I won't be near any of those things I've mentioned. Ma-drama? LOL. XD Pero yun nga.. nalulungkot lang talaga ako kasi once I start med proper.. well.. malalayo ako sa lahat nang yan kasi malamang magdorm ako kasi malayo bahay namin sa school.. tsaka para mailayo nila ko sa temptations of the PC and the NET. Lol. Mamimiss ko lahat. May it be just little things I've used to enjoy to those luxuries I'm used to when I'm at home. :/ Mamimiss ko rin simple joys of YM lol yan. I get to talk with ate and kuya kahit wala akong load.. tsaka nakakausap ko siya. Huhu. Sana kahit hindi na ko lagi online o nakakausap niya sa ym.. sana hindi niya ko makalimutan.. well.. para sakin kahit papano friends naman kami.. sana.. lol.. and well.. para sakin close kami.. haha. Sana nga. Mamaya ako lang na naman ang nag-iisip nang ganun. Lololol. XD Oh well. May mga scenario pa nga akong naisip eh. Amp yan. Sobrang sabog ba ako o ano? Ahaha. Naisip ko na before I totally lose or have less communication sasabihin ko sa kanya? Haha. Kaso ano naman sasabihin ko? Labo noh. Labo ko. Ahahaha. Ganto ba pag sobrang wala kang alam sa mga bagay bagay? Pag masyado kang kinulong at wala ka nang tuloy alam sa mga pangyayari at nangyayari at kung pano ang buhay sa labas nang cage mo? Lol. Wokay. Bangag ba ko o sabog? O parehas lang yun? Ahaha. Malamang si ate lang makaintindi nito. Haha. Siya lang naman nakakaalam. :P Wabshu~ :* Tama na nga to. Haha. Nangangarap na naman ako na ewan lol. XD

Anyway, I have to go now. :P Happy New Year everyone~ ^^ Ja~ :3

Currently Watching: Jigoku Shoujo
Currently Listening: Just Watch The Fireworks

*hugs and glomps*

Merry Christmas minna-san~ ^___^

I hope you enjoy your Christmas Day and basically your whole break/vacation/holiday. :P

Thank you sa gift ate. Mwah! :* Excited na ko makita. ^___^ Syempre iingatan ko yun and tatago. :3

I'm currently sick though. Rofl. Its Christmas and I'm sick. T__T Oh well. I'll still be leaving for Calatagan on the 26th. Can't postpone that. I really need to collect those specimens as early as possible. ~.~

Anyway, I've got to go.

Again..

Merry Christmas to all of you~ :3 *hugs* ^^ Oyasumi nasai~ Ja~ :P

Currently Listening: For Me This Is Heaven

[lss]
Jimmy Eat World - 23

I felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Stop it...

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...
[/lss]

I really love that song so much. No, I'm not turning 23. XD Far from it in fact. :P It's just that.. the lyrics speak out to me. Lol. Ang drama? Haha. Basta.. nakaka-relate ako sa dyan sa kanta.. Eheh. Ang ganda ganda talaga. :P

After more than a month, I'm back. ^^ I've been busy.. with a lot of things. School. Friends. Family stuff. My life in general was just a bit hectic. XD I haven't even been able to play RO much. Missed some sieges.. some or most? Lololol. XD When I remember all the things I had to get done this past month.. lol.. I'd just better not. XD~

It'll be Christmas in 5 days. After Christmas Day, and that would be the 26th. XD I'd be off to Batangas.. I think somewhere in Calatagan.. to collect my marine specimens. XD Wish me luck guys~ :3 Oh.. *re-reads what I typed* did I say I? Lol. I meant we, meaning, my family. XD It was supposed to be a trip wherein it was only my professor and a few of my classmates, and well they were planning to go to Bolinao yet again, but it was too far, and it takes 6 hours or so to get there. So.. of course.. mom and dad didn't agree to that idea. What a surprise? Lol. XD They even spoke to my professor. ROFL. So.. the trip ended up like this. Me and my family. My professor. Some of my classmates (supposedly, or so they say, but I think they'll probably cancel at the last minute. lol. XD). My 2 cousins/tito/kuya (they're twins, and they're my dad's youngest brothers.. kaya tito.. kaso ang liit lang nang age-gap.. so.. kuya ang tawag namin sa kanila and parang pinsan lang ang tingin namin sa kanila. ^^).

No new layout yet, still have no time to create my own like I used to. I'll be either re-using one of my old layouts (former layouts of my blog that I used to make), or get another one of those pre-made layouts out there. :P I'll be probably doing the latter. LOL. XD I missed my blog~ My cute usericons~ Roaming around my friends' blogs and stuff~ :P

Hmm.. might search for a cute pre-made layout later. Lol. Anyway, I've got to go. Ja~ :3

Currently Listening: 23

[lss]
Jimmy Eat World - 23
I felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Stop it...

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...
[/lss]

I really love that song so much. No, I'm not turning 23. XD Far from it in fact. :P It's just that.. the lyrics speak out to me. Lol. Ang drama? Haha. Basta.. nakaka-relate ako sa dyan sa kanta.. Eheh. Ang ganda ganda talaga. :P

After more than a month, I'm back. ^^ I've been busy.. with a lot of things. School. Friends. Family stuff. My life in general was just a bit hectic. XD I haven't even been able to play RO much. Missed some sieges.. some or most? Lololol. XD When I remember all the things I had to get done this past month.. lol.. I'd just better not. XD~

It'll be Christmas in 5 days. After Christmas Day, and that would be the 26th. XD I'd be off to Batangas.. I think somewhere in Calatagan.. to collect my marine specimens. XD Wish me luck guys~ :3 Oh.. *re-reads what I typed* did I say I? Lol. I meant we, meaning, my family. XD It was supposed to be a trip wherein it was only my professor and a few of my classmates, and well they were planning to go to Bolinao yet again, but it was too far, and it takes 6 hours or so to get there. So.. of course.. mom and dad didn't agree to that idea. What a surprise? Lol. XD They even spoke to my professor. ROFL. So.. the trip ended up like this. Me and my family. My professor. Some of my classmates (supposedly, or so they say, but I think they'll probably cancel at the last minute. lol. XD). My 2 cousins/tito/kuya (they're twins, and they're my dad's youngest brothers.. kaya tito.. kaso ang liit lang nang age-gap.. so.. kuya ang tawag namin sa kanila and parang pinsan lang ang tingin namin sa kanila. ^^).

No new layout yet, still have no time to create my own like I used to. I'll be either re-using one of my old layouts (former layouts of my blog that I used to make), or get another one of those pre-made layouts out there. :P I'll be probably doing the latter. LOL. XD I missed my blog~ My cute usericons~ Roaming around my friends' blogs and stuff~ :P

Hmm.. might search for a cute pre-made layout later. Lol. Anyway, I've got to go. Ja~ :3

Currently Listening: 23

It's been a while. :P I've been busy, and tired, and just have a lot of things on my mind right now. Hmm.. anyway, on to my post. ^^

This song seems like it's meant for me. I'm referring to the song title I used for my entry title today. :P Haha. XD

The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything everything will be just fine, everything everything will be alright.

Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now. Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything everything will be just fine, everything everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything everything will be just fine, everything everything will be alright.

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything everything will be just fine, everything everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything everything will be just fine, everything everything will be alright.

I am not a confident person, nor do I have high self-esteem. Haha. My mom even scolds me sometimes because of my low self-esteem. Sad but true. I somehow ended up being like this. Someone who doesn't think too highly of oneself. :/ Well, I guess I could say that somehow I've become someone who even puts myself down. Yung parang, ako na mismo nag-da-down sa sarili ko. I guess the effect of some people I've met before left its mark.. and hanggang ngayon parang ganun na naiisip ko.. kaya para wala nang expectation or something, ako na mismo nagsasabi, na ganto, ganyan. Ako na mismo nag-pu-put down sa sarili ko. Haha. Naisip ko lang bigla. Nasabi nga niya sakin 'to nung napansin niya na ganto ko, wag daw ako dapat ganyan. Wag ko daw i-down sarili ko. Sinend niya sakin tong kanta. Pinapakinggan niya sakin. Bagay daw sakin. Feel good song daw. Dapat daw ma-realize ko na hindi ko naman kelangan i-down sarili ko dahil lang sa kung ano mang nasabi o nagawa sakin dati. Hay. Masama na to ahaha. Lagi ko siya naiisip. Lol yan. Kung matutuloy yung deal, and bibilin ko yung binebenta niya, baka makita/ma-meet ko na siya in person this December. Sana lang. Gusto ko na ayoko. Haha. Gusto ko siya ma-meet pero ayoko ma-meet niya ko haha. Nahihiya ako. Naiisip ko nga baka lalo akong di makapagsalita in person.. kung sa ym nga nung nag-usap kami nahihiya ako sobra, harap harapan pa kaya. Lol. Aaaaaahh. Hay. *whacks self* Labo ko. Di ko alam kung ano ba talaga 'tong nararamdaman ko. Hay. x_x

I was so excited after my grandparents' 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary. It was a bit boring at first since the mass/actual wedding was more than 2 hours long. Lol. We were standing most of the time.. and well it is uncomfortable.. wearing high heels and all. Lol. XD The reception was fun. Haha. Me and my cousins were all at one table and we had a nice time. The lcd presentation which showed my grandparents' before and then their children and then us, their grandchildren. ^_^ We took quite a bit of pictures, but most of them are at my cousin's digicam, so I have to wait till I receive the copy. XD My grandma even cried when we sang for them both. Well, it was a surprise number, and I guess the lyrics touched her. :P Although most of the guests are bordering from adulthood to a little bit old people, it was fun. The food was nice too. Haha. XD I wish the pictures would turn out nicely. :3 I love our pictures when we were just kids. I looked so cute back then.. so adorable. XD Haha. XD I'll try to obtain a copy of a picture of myself when I was still a young child. XD I wanted to post when we got home, which was around past 12 midnight. Haha. It was almost 1 I think. I was supposed to post an entry then, but exhaustion from the things that occured during the whole day got the better of me.. and I ended up sleeping instead. XD Saturday, I had classes, and I was still feeling tired when I got home so I still wasn't able to post. Then today, was busy. Had tons of homework/assignments to do. Quizzes to study for. Lol. This sounds like a rant. XD But it isn't. Bleh! :P

Anyway, I wanted to attach a cute little pic. Haha. Used it as an avatar at ym. :P I got some positive feedbacks.. like out of 5 people 3 said I looked nice, cute, ganda (kasi daw ayaw niya gumamit nang word na cute lol yan XD). So heartwarming. :3 Nakakataba nang puso.. kasi kahit papano.. nalinlang sila nang maliit kong pic. Lololol. Joke. XD Pero.. sobrang nakakatuwa kasi atleast, kahit papano, hindi pala ako ganun kapanget sobra. Na pag maliit yung pic mukha akong tao. Haha. Ayan ang sinasabi kong habit ko na pag-down sa sarili. Haha. Lol. *batok sarili* XD Seriously, natuwa ako kasi kahit papano may nagsabi nang compliments or positive remarks/feedbacks sakin. ^_^ Iba talaga pag maliit yung pic haha. So deceiving? Lololol. XD

Currently Listening: The Middle

It has been over a week since my last post. To think I'd be already busy in such a short time. Lol. XD Classes suck. Sched sucks more. *rants on and on lololol* XD

I feel sick. :/ We went to visit my grandparents' at Laguna again last Sunday, so we left home early, and spent the whole day there. We went there because the fitting of the gowns we will be wearing for their wedding this November 17 (Friday) was scheduled then. The place was far from my grandparents' house, so it was an hour I guess before we got there. Then we started the fitting, took pictures (lololol XD~ syempre ako nagpasimuno nito haha tas si tita nagpicture narin XD), then they said the changes they want and stuff. After that we went to Festival Mall, we were going to practice the song we were going to sing at the reception, which was supposedly a surprise. XD I think it was around 4 or 5 when we arrived at Festival, but since the guys didn't have to fit gowns lol, they stayed at home, so we had to wait for them to arrive. While we were waiting for them, we bought the guys the things they lacked and needed for that occassion. Then tita searched for a shoe or sandal that she could wear with her gown. Me and mommy ended up buying one too since the shoes we bought didn't go along with the color of our gowns. x_x Ugh. We spent around an hour I guess, or an hour and a half. Rofl. When the guys arrived we rented a room in the, what do you call those kind of places anyway? Videoke Bar? Lololol. Anyway, we spent more or less, 2 to 3 hours there I guess. We practiced the song, and during break time they sang along with the songs they chose from the selection. XD When we were done, we parted ways. They went home in their car, while we and my tita and cousin went to our car. Walang maghahatid kila tita and sa pinsan ko kaya syempre kami nalang naghatid lol. Eh magkalayo pa naman sila. Grabe. Ahaha. Hinatid namin si tita then si kuya. Lol. Kapagod. Parang nag-ikot kami buong araw sa iba't ibang lugar lololol. So there. We arrived home at around 11 I think. I wasn't able to finish my assignment and the research I was re-writing in Laguna because we left for the fitting at around lunch time. Lol. Since then we had been outside and of course I couldn't do any writing there. XD Ugh. Is my grammar still correct. Lol. I still feel sort of tired and sleepy and spent. XD Well anyway, what I was trying to say was (kaso napakwento ko and humaba and lol nagkwento nalang XD) I had classes yesterday, and it starts at 7 a.m. Lol. I was able to finish my assignment and stuff at around 2 a.m. ahaha. I slept for around 3 hours since I woke up at around 5. Lol. Ayoko pa nga sana tumayo. Gusto ko sana matulog nalang. Mag-absent. Kaso, kung gagawin ko yun, sayang naman pinagpuyatan ko. Nagpuyat pa ko and nagsulat tapos di rin pala ko papasok and di ko mapapasa? Lol dba. Syempre sayang. Kaya kahit sobrang nahihilo na inaantok pa ko gumising na ko and naligo haha. Tapos pumasok. Antok sobra sa klase, pero nakasurvive naman. Yun. Tapos pagkauwi ko kahapon, pagod sobra. Antok na antok pero di rin makatulog agad. Haha. Nakakabangag lol. Tapos ngayon yung parang katuloy nang weekend ko.. kasi nga may pasok ako nang sabado dba, so ang weekend ko sunday then tuesday. Lol. Nakatulog naman ako kaso maaga aga rin ako ginising aalis kasi sila so kelangan ko sara gate. Haha. Ayun. Hanggang ngayon parang inaantok parin ako na pagod na nanghihina. Haha. Hay. Feeling ko talaga magkakasakit ako.

I want to know what I really feel. Haha. How will I be able to? I like him, that much is sure.. but, love? I don't know.. and it's confusing me, and scary I guess. All I know is I always want to be able to at least talk to him everyday. :/ It's hard. We haven't even met in person yet, and he's really busy I guess, and even though he hinted before that he's interested and liligawan daw niya ko pag pumayat ako (lololol naknampoocha XD), I think all he really thinks of me is.. well.. a friend. *sigh* I know nothing will change even if I do find out if I really am in love with him or something since he probably doesn't feel the same way.. It's just that I just want to know. Lol. *whacks self* I'm being weird again. -_-

I have classes tomorrow. Ugh. I hate the freaking switch of professors. Geez. Now we have a different adviser for that subject. Lol. It doesn't make it any more appealing since she has a different view and opinion from that of our professor last sem. Lol. Argh. Goodluck sayo, Tina.

I'll be sleeping now. Must rest. Must feel better. *hugs minna* Oyasumi nasai. Ja.


Blister by Jimmy Eat World *heart* :3
Take advantage of these times, you said.
You let me down.
It hasn't been the first time.
As I'm falling in the pit of fire my mind's made up.
I'm never coming back here.

And how long would it take me to walk across the United States all alone.
The West coast has been traumatized.
I think I'm the only one still alive.

Is it just a coincidence to see you by yourself with no direction.
Now it's time to move on. and then
Don't you know that things aren't getting better.

And how long would it take me to walk across the United States all alone.
The West coast has been traumatized.
I think I'm the only one still alive.

When the world caves in what are you going to do
When the world caves in what are you going to do for me.
When the world caves in what are you going to do
When the world caves in what are you going to do for me.

Don't try and stop me.
Because I'm falling fast into this pit of fire which surrounds us all.
In a blanket of fear that I've been wrapped in for years.
Don't try to stop me.
You can't stop me.
When the world caves in what are you going to do for me.

And how long would it take me to walk across the United States all alone.
The West coast has been traumatized.
I think I'm the only one still alive.

And how long would it take me to walk across the United States all alone.
The West coast has been traumatized.
I think I'm the only one still alive.

I wub Jimmy Eat World, and most of their songs, so much~ *heart* :3

Currently Listening: Blister

Happy Halloween minna. ^^ It's a bit late, haven't been able to blog on the day itself, hence, just greeting you guys now. XD

Classes start on Monday. Gahaha. Will be pretty busy. So much things to do. Hmm. I still haven't changed my layout. Maybe in a day or two. Too lazy at the moment. Haha. XD

Hmm.. things are really confusing me. *whacks self* Why am I so.. I dunno.. so confused, for lack of a better term. Gahaha. Oh well. I won't hope. Still, I really like him. How would I know, what do I really feel? Haha. How to determine what I'm feeling, and if ever, how to detach or forget or let go of it?

RO-wise, last, November 2.. I guess, since it was past 12 midnight then, we were so lucky. We hunted the dragon MVP and we got a Pole Axe[1]. :3 Yesh. Though I might not have gotten an icepick, we got a PA instead. It costs around from 800m to 1b zeny. Yay. There were four of us.. so.. yummy~ XD It might cost a little less but still, so happeh~ ^^

Soundtrip~ Gahaha. Wub wub wub Jimmy Eat World~ *heart* I've like 132 or 132+ mp3s of their songs. Gahaha. So pretty~ I used to listen to a few tracks per day, my current faves or lss, but since yesterday, I've been listening to all, Repeat All, LOL. XD Wub~

"It was my turn to decide~ I knew this was our time~ No one else will have me like you do~ No one else will have me, only you~ You'll sit alone forever~ If you wait for the right time~ What are you hoping for?~ I'm here and now I'm ready~ Holding on tight~ Dont give away the end~ The one thing that stays mine..~"

"with such a worried heart~ you'll spend your lifetime waiting~ i'm only asking once~ to catch the sparkle fading~ so far away behind your eyes~ im only asking once~ im only asking once~ so far away behind your eyes~ so far away behind your eyes~"

And those were snippets from some of my favorite songs at the moment~ *heart* Wub~ *heartloveheart*

Oyasumi nasai~ Ja.

Currently Listening: Sparkle

Went to school for the nth time. Lol. Finally got myself enrolled. Tiring. Took most of the day. Sucky sched. I have classes on mondays, wednesdays, thursdays, and saturdays.. Lol.

Might edit post later, or tomorrow. XD

"Remember me~ I kissed you clean~ Lying dressed~ On your bed~ How we'll shake~ Are we safe?~ Kiss you clean~ Broken free~"

Oyasumi nasai. Ja.

Currently Listening: Lying Dressed

Hay. Gusto ko lang magpost. Rant lang about sa nangyari kanina. Dapat babalik ako sa school kaso umuulan nang malakas kaya di na ko pinaalis. So yun. Tapos past 10:30 biglang may maintenance. Then a minute or less before mag maintenance saka na-open yung seal nang Mjolnir kasi 3rd seal of Brisingamen has appeared. Eh di nagulat ako. Di ko pa sure kung open na Mjolnir or what. Nung up na uli server. Mga past 11 ata. Nag-online ako tas chineck ko. Open na nga. Sinabihan ko pa si best buddy ni ano.. haha.. binigyan ko pa nung ibang items.. hay. Tas ayun. Sisimulan ko na sana.. kaso inutusan ako. -_- Pagkabalik ko eh di ginagawa ko na. Na kay Sudri palang ako biglang kakain na daw kaming lunch. HAAAY. Ayun. Pagbalik ko.. tapos na. Wala na. Tapos na yung quest. Nagsara na. Mga 1 na ata nun or 1 something. Di ko maalala kung may 1:30 na nun. Hay. Nakakabadtrip. :/ Oo game lang yan haha. And oo may icepick na ko. Pero gusto ko sana nang isa pa kasi need ko nang zeny. :/ Oh well. Kung mamalasin ka talaga. Kung hindi sana ako inutusan, and pinilit kumain nang lunch.. natapos ko sana. Syempre nanghihinayang ako pag naiisip ko yun. Haha. So yun. Sobrang frustrated I guess. Oo nga swerte in a way kasi wala ako sa school kanina. Kaso ganun rin kinalabasan. Parang wala rin ako sa bahay. Di ko rin nagawa. Di ko rin natapos. :/ Hay. Sayang. Zeny na sana yun kung nakagawa ako. T_T Huhu. Oh well. Buti pa yung mga sinabihan ko na open na seal.. nakagawa. Haha. Kainggit. Malas ko talaga. T___T Hay. Yun lang muna haha. Magmumukmok muna ko. Sayang talaga. Hay. Tsaka naguguluhan pa ko sa isang bagay haha. Natatakot ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba talaga nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.. and kung malaman ko nga kung ano.. nakakatakot rin. Haha. Labo? Pasensya na. Sabog ako ngayon. Haha. BAAAAADTRIP. GRR. HAY. O siya. Magmumukmok na muna talaga ko. Ja.

Currently Listening: Shame

I wasn't able to add something to my post yesterday.. and it isn't nice too. Haha. Things have escalated, and everything looks to be pretty much bleak. Geez. You should have known better than to involve them, especially your best buddy. Haha. Geez. These days I find myself thinking what I saw in you before. Really. If this was how I knew you then, we wouldn't probably even be friends. Gahaha. Yeah. Might sound mean.. but that is how it is.

You said you were busy. Yeah right. Busy but still can go online at YM. Can still browse around and read the boards. Woot. Yeah, you sure are busy. Haha. You could've PM'ed just to tell "hey i'm so fucking busy so don't expect to hear from me for xx days or something." Haha. But nooo, there was nothing. Haha. You were so damn busy but still was able to login to the boards before, and you were even able to read something? Haha. Yeah. Such a valid reason. If you think that it was just about that fucking stupid weapon. Lol. You really don't know me. Please do think again. I could buy you a dozen of those FYI. Geez. You should have thought that because of your lack of communication, people, specially us, would start thinking. It didn't help that I heard from a friend of mine that you said you were quitting already, haha, and here I thought I was also your friend. Bestfriend even. Rofl. So yeah. You wanted to talk. We talked.. but you didn't even get what I was saying. Your answers were so lame. Yeah, you're busy, but hey, sending a PM doesn't take 10 hours you know. Haha. Tsaka, dapat di mo na hinalo sila. Okay lang yung una eh.. si lilbroghey. Sort of mediator. Tsaka hindi talaga siya nakikihalo. Hindi biased. Nandun lang siya kasi gusto niya maayos.. na mag-usap tayo and maayos problema.. Hay.. pero sinali mo pa talaga si best buddy mo. Haha. Siya naman gustong gusto makihalo, makisawsaw sa gulo na di naman niya dapat sawsawan. Haha. Ayan. Gumulo. Lumabo. Pati siya nadamay. Ngayon pati sa kanya may problema na. Haha. Ang ayoko sa lahat nagmamagaling. At yun ang ginagawa niya kagabi. Natitiis ko siya, natotolerate, pero kagabi talaga nainis na ko. Haha. Oo maangas talaga siya. Pero may border dapat.. and hindi naman talaga siya ganyan kaangas dati. Tapos ngayon isusumbong mo sa kanya na sinabi ko yun. Na hindi siya ganyan dati. Na hindi mo alam kung ano ugali niya dati kasi nung summer mo lang siya nakilala. Haha. Tapos syempre panibagong gulo? Ahaha. Hanep pa status niyang best buddy mo kanina eh. Nakita ko pagkagising ko. Poocha. Kakagising ko na nga lang nabadtrip pa ko. Hahaha. Amp na status naman kasi "Magulo ang mundong ito.. Di mo ko kilala nang lubos. Matagal na nga tayo mag kakilala pero wala kang CLUE kung sino talaga ako at kung pano gumagana ang utak ko. Lets fix this shit. [Waiting-AFK;Gawin mo na lahat nang gusto mo sa status ko habang naka taas pa]" Haha. Ayusin ha? Maaayos pa ba kung ganyan ka? LOL. Ewan ko nalang. Haha. You, Grr, and you had to butt in? Again? Amp na status mo. "Bago umepal, alamin muna yung storya, hindi yung sasawsaw ka hindi mo naman alam yung pinaguusapan. Tamaan na ang tatamaan. Wala akong pakialam. hahaha! AFK." Haha. Ayos. Siraan sa status gogogo. Haha. You just showed how much more I should hate you. Haha. Ikaw ang umeepal sa away nang iyong best buddy and nang friend ko. Haha. Tangna. Nakaka-gago kayong 2. Huwag niyong sabihin na bata kayo kayo ganyan kayo mag-isip. Marami dyan mas bata pa sa inyo pero mas matino pa. Haha. Shet. Nakakaloka kayo. Sobra. Haha. Best Buddy, inuubos mo pasensya ko when you said "Di naman ako kusang sumabit eh. Haha. sinali ako kasi Alam ko. [AFK] Superiority /wah" Haha. Did you even understand what MY FRIEND said? "Knowing when to butt out lessens the event of you getting hit in the crossfire. Likewise, knowing when to act your age reduces the chance of you getting shot in the head. Oh and another thing, respect those older than you. It doesn't hurt." Haha. Poor you. Geez. Yeah you can talk/write in english. BUT DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT WE AND MY FRIEND WERE TRYING TO SAY? DO YOU? BETTER THINK BEFORE YOU GO REACT. BOTH OF YOUR STATUSES ARE JUST MAKING THINGS WORSE.. AND AT SOME POINT.. MAYBE MAKE THINGS GO WAY BEYOND ANY SORT OF REPAIR. HAHA. THINGS ARE GETTING OUT OF HAND. AND IT IS BECAUSE OF BOTH OF YOU. I WISH YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF "MAKING PARINIG" or "NANINIRA SA STATUS" BAGO NIYO GINAWA. HAHAHA. MAGKAKAIBIGAN TAYO HINDI BA? HAHA. TAPOS SASABIHIN MO HINDI KITA KILALA? HINDI KO ALAM ANG TUNAY NA IKAW? EH ANO YUN? KA-PLASTIKAN PINAPAKITA MO SAKIN.. SA AMIN NOON? NA HINDI PALA IKAW YUN? NA IBA KA SA NAKILALA NAMING IKAW? AHAHA. NOW TELL ME. SINO ANG MATUTUWA SA MGA SINABI MO? HAHA. PA-LETS FIX THIS SHIT KA PA. SHIT! NAKAKABASTOS AND NAKAKAINIS AND NAKAKABWISIT MGA STATUS NIYO SA YM. LALO KA NA BESTPREND KO KUNO. WAG UMEPAL? EH BAT NAKIKI-EPAL KA SA AWAY NI BEST BUDDY MO AND FRIEND KO? HAHAHA. SINO ANG EPAL? SINO ANG UMEEPAL? HAHAHA. JUSKO. NADAMAY NA. HINALO MO PA KASI SI BEST BUDDY MO. DAPAT DI MO NA SINABI SA KANYA PARA DI NA SIYA UMEPAL. AND DAPAT DI MO ININVITE SA CONFERENCE. NOW TELL ME. SINO UNANG UMEPAL? BEST BUDDY MO O KAIBIGAN KO? UTAK NAMAN. HINDI PORKET BATA PA KAYONG DALAWA EH OKAY LANG MAGING GANYAN. HAHA. OO NAIINIS AKO. BIHIRA AKO MAINIS. PERO OA KASI KAYONG DALAWA. SIGURO OA RIN AKO. PERO DI KO SILA IHINAHALO SA PROBLEMA. KASO SINIMULAN MO. AYAN. NADAMAY NA. GUMULO. NAHALO NA SILA. HAHA. GUSTO KO SANA MAAAYOS. KASO SA MGA NABASA KO. LALONG NAKAKAWALANG GANA. HAHA. SAYANG. SAYANG YUNG FRIENDSHIP. AS I'VE SAID. I HATE LOSING FRIENDS, PERO ANG PINAKA AYOKO EH YUNG MGA FRIENDS MO NGA PERO DI MARUNONG MAG VALUE NANG FRIENDSHIP, NANG FRIEND. MGA TIPONG USER? HAHA. MATAMAAN NA ANG MATATAMAAN? WALA AKONG PAKIALAM? SOUNDS FAMILIAR? HAHAHA. IT SHOULD. KASI YAN ANG SINABI MO NUNG UMEPAL KA SA PROBLEMA NANG BEST BUDDY MO AND NANG FRIEND KO. HAHAHA. POOCHA MAHIRAP HINDI MAGBITAW NANG PANGALAN. AHAHAHA. PERO SIGE. HINDI AKO MAGBIBITAW NANG NAMES. MAY DECENCY PA NAMAN KAYO PARA DI MAG NAME NANG NAMES SA STATUS NIYO. YUN NGA LANG STATUS NIYO PALANG AND MASKI WALANG PANGALAN, NAKAKAWALANG GANA NA MAKIPAG-AYOS. HAHAHA. KUNG SI FRIEND KO LANG AYAW NA NIYA MAKIPAG-USAP. TIRAHAN NALANG DAW. PARINIGAN. HAHAHA. AKO.. MABAIT BAIT PA KO. PAG-IISIPAN KO. HAHA. NAKAKAWALANG GANA MAKIPAG-AYOS PERO WE'LL SEE. PAG HINDI KO NAGUSTUHAN TONO NANG PAKIKIPAG-USAP SAKIN, KUNG PANO MAKIPAG-USAP, AND ANG SASABIHAN. WALA NA. HAHA. SIRA NA TALAGA.

Sa mga nadamay. Pasensya na. Sa mga nagulat saking magalit. Ahaha. Yeah. Bihira ako magalit. Masama rin pala ko pag galit noh? Ahaha. Mahal ko kayo. *hugs* Kilala niyo kung sino kayo. Sana kung ano man mangyari o maging resulta. Walang magbabago satin. Alam ko namang kaibigan niyo rin si ano and si best buddy. Haha. So. Ayun. Maayos man o hindi. Hay. Ewan. Bahala na.

Currently Listening: Disintegration

I've wanted to post a lot of things, in fact I have a lot of stuff to post about, things to say.. but somehow.. since my last post, I haven't been able to due to a lot of reasons. School. Papers. Final Exams. Problems. Worries. More Problems? XD The things I wanted to write, the frustrations I've had... I so wanted to vent out here.. but somehow.. I wasn't able to.. and today.. I don't really feel like writing them. :/ Weird. Mind's all mixed up. *sigh*

Still, there is one thing I can't help but post. I have no other means of venting out my frustrations about this, so I guess this is the only way I can let it out. It's hard keeping things bottled up. It eats you, from the inside.. LOL. XD So with that warning. Read at your own risk. ROFL. XD

What kind of a friend would just disappear without so much as telling you? Haha. I hate losing friends, but I really hate people who don't value their friends, and their friendship. Really. It's sickening. Irritating. Someone you considered your friend.. who you thought was true.. was sincere. Haha. In the end? They just proved you wrong in believing in them. Really. It is such a sad sad thing to experience. You trust them, do everything you can to help them, look like a fool for doing things for them when it's sort of obvious they just go near you when they need something. But hey, I can't put all the blame in the person, I mean, hell, I was the one stupid enough to do things for the person. Haha. Yeah. I am one stupid girl. Geez. Ayoko siya sumbatan, and di ko rin naman dapat sumbatan pero, omg, haha. I can't help but think like this. Nakaka-disappoint sobra. Binaliwala niya lang lahat. Nung una naaawa ako kaya lagi ko tinutulungan, pero nung nagka-arguments na, nagkagulo, hindi niya na ko kinakausap. Lalapit nalang siya pag may kailangan. Hay. Tanga naman ako, pag nalapit o nahingi nang tulong sige lang ako nang sige. Payag nang payag. Haha. Tanga ko talaga. O tapos ngayon ano nangyari? Simula nung nagmatigas na ko, nung hindi na ko pumayag tulungan siya sa kailangan niya, nung hindi na ko pumayag i-bot siya, ano na? Wala na. Hindi na ko kinakausap. Tapos malalaman ko sa iba naming kaibigan na quit etc siya? Wtf? Wala man lang pasabi. Ni hindi man lang ako sinabihan? Kung di niya ko matext, o makausap, pwede namang mag-pm sa ym. Or kung di niya ko ma-pm sa ym pwede namang magtext o tumawag? Pero ano? Wala. Maski isa wala. Mawawala siya nang parang bula? Ganun lang yun? Wala man lang pasabi haha. Ibang klase talaga. Tsaka lol omg. Quit pero nakikita ko ang kanyang character sa High Orc map, nagpapalevel. Kahapon lang nakita ko eh. Saan dun yung parteng quit? May quit bang naka-bot parin yung account? Haha. Ayos yun ah. Quit pero yung character naka-bot. Nice. Haha. Quit nga. Waw. Masama loob ko, obviously. Sobrang masama. Haha. I hate him. I hate him yet nasasaktan ako sa ginawa niya. Haha. Masakit rin kasing parang ituring na wala ka lang. Hello? Kaibigan niya ako, best friend pa nga daw. Pero sino sinabihan niya na mag-quit na siya? Yung isa naming kaibigan. Siguro akala niya hindi sasabihin sakin? Or maybe i-ne-expect niya na sasabihin sakin kaya dun nalang niya sinabi? Pero, respeto naman, kaibigan niya ko, best friend niya ko? Ni hindi man lang niya ko sinabihan. Haha. After all the things we've been through. Nung may rumors about him, hindi ko siya iniwan. Kahit ganun ang mga paratang sa kanya hindi ko siya hinayaan mag-isa, hindi ko siya kinatakutan? Kung tutuusin, when you look at the facts and things he did, sobrang guilty siya dun sa rumor eh.. pero I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Binenta niya luma niyang account na kung saan binoost ko pa yung sinx and hw niya, pero sige okay lang. Nagtataka pa ko nun bakit niya gusto ibenta lumang account. Eh kung inosente siya bat hindi niya sila kausapin para magkaliwanagan, and why leave their guild dba. Hayaan nalang daw. Oo sige hayaan. Pero bakit siya umalis sa kanila? And bakit ibebenta account? Para hindi na siya makausap? Para iba na character and hindi na siya mapansin? Naisip ko yan dati pero hindi ko pinansin, binaliwala ko lang.. pero ngayon I really can't help but think sobrang kakaiba nang mga ginawa niya noon. Tapos gumawa na nga siyang bagong account, sige tulong naman ako. Ako ang nag-bot sa character niya from like level 25 ata na merch, till naging blacksmith. Ako nag-bot 24/7 para mag-99. Ako nag-bot nung trinanscend. Nung naging merch high, until mag whitesmith. Haha. O ha dba. Lahat yan libre. 24/7 bot. Walang kapalit. Ni hindi ko pinapabayaran nang load, or loots, o rares. Wala. Libre lang. Ni hindi ko rin pinakialaman mga gamit o kafra niya. Haha. Ganun ako kabait dati? Ganun ako ka-tanga? Haha. Tapos nang nainis na ko sa kanya kasi feeling ko ang tingin lang niya sakin eh personal botter niya.. yun yung time na malabo na lahat dahil sa isang argument or rather isang bagay.. simula nung nagkaproblema dun.. nag-iba na siya. Hindi na nga ako kinakausap masyado. Pag-o-online ako pero hindi rin naman ako kakausapin o sasamahan. Wtf. Tapos magagalit siya pag sasabihin ko ayoko mag-online pag gusto niya ko mag-online. Lol. Malamang. Online nga ko eh di naman niya ko pinapansin. Lol. Sinong matutuwa sa ganun. Haha. Nung medyo binobot ko pa siya kahit nung may problema na friendship namin, kinakau-kausap pa niya ko kahit papano. Nung napuno na ko. Nung ayoko na siya i-bot. Ayun. Hindi na ko kinakausap. Haha. Bestfriends kami niyan ha. Lupit. Haha. Kakatuwa. Sa ginawa niyang yun, lalo niyang pinagtibay yung naisip ko na taga-bot lang ang tingin niya sakin. Someone kind enough or stupid enough to bot his character 24/7 for nothing in return. Haha. Astig. Bitter ako? Maybe. All I know is, masama ang loob ko sa kanya sobra. I hate him, and what he did and is still doing. It's one thing to disregard me because he is sooo inlove with someone, but to totally make me feel like trash, it is just too much. Masama parin loob ko sa mga ginawa niya simula nung nagkagusto siya dun sa girl na yun. Oo selosa ako. Pero alam niya yun. Sana inintindi nalang rin niya ko. Magsasabi sabi pa siya na sige siya lalayo dun sa girl para di na ko magselos etc. Lol. I hate people who say one thing but does another thing. Sinabi niya yun pero iba naman ginagawa niya. Ganun parin. Parang lumala pa nga. Lalo akong nabaliwala. Haha. Hanep. Tapos nung ako nalang yung lumalayo, siya naman nagalit. Omg. Haha. Gulo diba. San ko naman ilulugar sarili ko. Haha. Naiinis ako pag nandun nga ako pero hindi naman niya ko pinapansin, tapos pag aalis ako o lalayo siya naman maiinis. Haha. Gulo mo! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Shet yan. Masama talaga loob ko. Hay. Pero kagabi, haha, call me bad or evil, pero natuwa ako sa thread sa forums na pinabasa sakin ni ate len ko. :3 Ghost Stories! Mwahaha. Kawawa siya, kaya rin siguro nag-quit "kuno" na, kasi hinding hindi na niya matatakasan o malalayuan former guildmates niya. Ahaha. Maybe I'm enjoying this so much because he hurt me and what they're doing to him is like sweet revenge for me? Haha. Well, he brought it upon himself. I'm through being stupid and being like a fool. Oo kawawa siya sa kanila. Lakas nila manira. Lakas nila magpatama.. pero kasalanan rin niya. Haha. I might be kind and understanding most of the time, but I still can be a bad person. >:) Nobody's perfect, specially not me. Though most of the time I let things pass, ika nga, hinayaan ko nalang. May hangganan. Haha. Hindi nalang lagi ganun. Darating at darating ang oras na magsasawa ka na magpasensya o magpakatanga o magpaka-engs. Haha. Pero. Naiinis ako sa kanya. Masama talaga loob ko sa kanya. Hay. Ateeeeeeeeeeee. Wabshu~ :* Confie uli tayong tatlo ni kuya. *heart* :3

On a lighter note, I absolutely love Jimmy Eat World. *heart* I just heard or rather found out about them from a dear friend of mine who introduced me to their music last October 12. Ahaha. Yeah. I even remember the date. :P I so love For Me This is Heaven, Night Drive, 23, Polaris, and Disintegration so much. *heartloveheart* XD~

Issuance of grades yesterday, I think. XD I might get mine during our enrollment since it would be much more convenient for me. The thought of enrollment day makes me shudder. Lol. Uber long lines. Gah. It'll probably take me most of the day again.

Entry's already uber long. Ahaha. Will stop at that. :P Before I forget, I will live you with the lyrics to one of my current favorite songs. Lss~ XD

Polaris
I'll say it straight and plain
I know I've made mistakes
I've always been afraid
I've always been afraid

A thousand nights or more
I travelled east and north
Please answer the door

Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
Something pretty

I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful

Then you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

I'm done, there's nothing left to show
Try but I can't let go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
To another, it feels so hard
As a train approaches, getting on
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?

You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

Currently Listening: Polaris

This was supposed to be posted yesterday since it happened then, but I wasn't able to post it. So, I'm just going to post today the supposed entry for yesterday. Lol. XD

Day was bad. Things aren't going that well. Still, something happened to cheer me up. :3

Thank you both for visiting me. Well, I don't think "visiting" is the right term. Rofl. XD I really missed hanging out with you guys. Such a shame Newi wasn't able to come. :/ Basta, ang saya. Kahit simpleng kwentuhan lang, masaya na ko. ^_^ Nakaka-miss sobra. Kwentuhan. Asaran. Kulitan. Tsaka, wahaha, hindi na kayo shy sa camera! Ahaha. Big improvement. ^^ Mwahaha. Sa susunod uli. Picture-taking galore~ Wahaha. Wub~ *heart*

O eto.. wahaha. Pasensya na maliit lang. XD Hindi ko pa masend sa inyong dalawa yung mga pics, kasi hindi pa ko makapag-login nang email. Ahaha. Pero nakapagpost noh. Lol. Medyo mahaba kasi yung proseso pag i-i-email ko na sa inyo yung pics. Ang lalaki nang sizes tsaka medyo madami dami rin yun, baka hindi kasya sa iisang batch/email lang since limited lang number of attachments na pwede, dba? Balak ko sana i-upload nalang sa photobucket ko, kaso.. masyadong malaki yung screen resolution nung pictures natin. Ahaha. 1600x1200.. eh ang pwede lang sa photobucket 800x600. Lolz. Nireresize niya automatically.. eh pumapanget yung pic. Wahaha. Maarte eh noh. XD Eh pero syempre dba.. pic na nga lang natin hahayaan pa bang pumangit. Mwahaha. XD Basta, sa sunday sure na may time na ko makapag-ayos nung pics, kung ano yung isesend and kung kanino.. tsaka may time na makapag-email. XD Pinagkalat ko na tong certain na pic na to. Ahaha. Ginawa kong avatar sa ym. Mwahaha. XD I like it. XD Ang cute kasi natin dyan. Mwahaha. XD Pasensya na. Minsan lang matuwa sa sariling picture. Ahaha. XD Basta ate gab, pag nabasa mo to and yung text ko, try ko masend earlier pero probably sa sunday pa talaga. Pakisabi narin kay nelo. Pero text ko nalang rin siya uli. Lol. XD

omgipostedapicroflomgipostedapicrofl

So there. I'm off to fix my stuff. We will be leaving at 5 a.m. tomorrow. As usual we will be going to Laguna, for my check-up which was cancelled last thursday due to the storm. Ugh. I have no rest. Rofl. Been out of the house almost all day since Tuesday. My check-up's at around 2 I think but we will be leaving at 5 since my dad doesn't want us to be stuck in any traffic jam or something. His reason is that if we leave late or around noon, we'll just get stuck in a traffic jam and waste precious time. XD Unfortunately, there's no electricity in my grandparents' house yet.. poor, poor me. Hours and hours spent in total boredom, with no light nor pc to entertain me. Rofl. Yeah. That was a rant. Ahaha. XD Post is getting too long. Rofl. I'll end it at that. Ahaha. Oyasumi nasai minna. Ja.

Currently Listening: God knows

Random post?

I wasn't able to go with ate to WTC. *sighs* Spent the day, sleeping, surfing, chatting with friends, and listening to my beloved mp3s. The net was annoying though. It suddenly slows down, then goes back to its normal speed, and then slows down again. Gah.

Hmm.. I feel sort of, empty. or blank. Lol. It's all mixed up. Depressed. Angry. Empty. Confused. Blank. Rofl? XD

God knows has been playing non-stop on my winamp. Lss. Must find the lyrics. I really like this song. *heart*

My friend, Robert, was texting me, and kept on making missed calls around noon. I already told him I wouldn't be coming. Rofl. So sad. I also run out of load. So I can barely text, nor reply to anyone.

So sad. Was uber bored. Lol. I might re-edit my post later, or maybe not. It all depends.

So there, off I go. Oyasumi nasai minna. Ja ne.

Currently Listening: God knows